Parental Responsibilities
When divorcing parties have children, a number of crucial decisions must be made. How will decisions be made for the children after the divorce? How will time be shared with the children? Where will they go to school, how will their health care be managed, what will be their ethical or religious upbringing?
These and other questions can be decided in the framework of allocating parental responsibilities and time. Colorado law provides in C.R.S. §14-10-124 that decisions concerning the children are to be made with the children’s best interests in mind. What this means exactly is a subject of some debate among lawyers and mental health professionals. However, it is generally agreed that the focus is on what is best for the children and their future, rather than on what a parent wants or needs. Naturally, when parenting is good, the parent’s wants and needs coincide with what is best for the children.
Two overall decisions are made when dealing with parenting after divorce. The first is the allocation of decision-making authority between parents. There are two option, joint or sole decision making, and these can be applied to the different areas of decision-making. The usual areas of decision making are in the areas of education, health care, religious and ethical upbringing, and the children’s participation in extracurricular activities. If decisions are to be made jointly, then each parent has input into the decision, and neither has veto power. If the decisions, or any one of them, are to be made solely by one parent, then that parent’s decision controls. Sometimes, authority over different areas is split between he parents, with one deciding education, the other deciding health care, and so on. More commonly, the decision are all made jointly or solely by one parent.
If there is a deadlock between parents in a joint decision making arrangement, they will typically be required to attend mediation. Also, a decision maker, who is essentially a tie-breaker between the parents, can be appointed.
The other major decision to be made is how to share time with the children. This is called parenting time in the statutes. An important thing to remember is that usually both parents will experience the new time structure with the children as a loss. If both parents get as much time as possible, they will each have 50%, which is substantially less than 100%, which is what each had prior to separation. There are ways to try to maximize parenting time, even above 50%, without taking time away from the other parent, and these require cooperation. We are happy to help you explore ways to maximize time with your children.
If parents need help deciding what to do, there are many professionals available to assist. These include your lawyers, and also mental health professionals with many years’ experience assisting families reach workable parenting solutions upon divorce. We can help you find these professionals.